Sick Heart
by Loverly Light
Summary: Unspoken love is the worst torture... that, and a brother keeps that love from ever manifesting. Tsukasa doesn't know how he can live with this broken and sickened heart. One-sided TsukasaXLuna, implied SubaruXLuna, lots of Tsukasa angst.


Sick Heart

"And now, Class President Shirogane Luna has an announcement she'd like to make."

"Thank you very much, Ikuta-sensei." The blond-haired girl bowed slightly, then made her way up to the front of the classroom.

Tsukasa smiled to himself as he watched the girl station herself to the right of the teacher's desk and clear her throat.

"We will be putting on a school play soon, and I have chosen to be the director, producer, playwright, and leading actress. This story will be based off a true event that took place a few weeks ago, where…" Here, she gulped slightly, and looked down at her feet. "When Rockman-sama saved me."

She then raised her head, and spoke with confidence once more. "I will be handing out a part for each person, if you want a different one then feel free to ask me, but I chose each person I thought best for the part."

The green-haired boy closed his eyes halfway and chuckled slightly. That was the Inchou for you. He frowned softly as she made her way through the rows, handing out a few sheets of paper to each person.

He wanted the part of Rockman.

It wasn't very likely, though. There were at least four other boys, and this was a pretty small class. But… well, the boy had for the longest time had a very small crush on the girl who was now Class President. Of course, she had never shown much interest in him… not that he tried to make himself known to her.

Luna had finally come to him, and she handed him a stack of sheets that were stapled together. He nodded in appreciation and acknowledgement as he took the papers. Luna smiled back, and turned to leave.

Tsukasa glanced down at the paper and blinked, hardly believing his eyes.

There, scrawled in fancy lettering, were the words: "The part of Rockman will be played by Futaba Tsukasa."

* * *

"Cut!" Luna yelled as soon as the scene was finished. "Gonta," she started with him on her lists of complaints. "Gonta, you're acting too nice, you're supposed to be an evil, insane monster! And Kizamaro, you're going too slow with the lights, try speeding it up a little or you'll miss your cues! And you!" She called, quickly turning to face Tsukasa. The boy had a nervous smile on his face as he back up a step.

"You were _wonderful_!" Luna exclaimed, taking a few steps towards the boy.

Tsukasa blinked. "R-Really?"

"Yes! You were amazing! You…" here she stopped for a second, then started up again, slightly softer. "You seemed really heroic, Futaba-kun. Like… never mind."

The Class President cleared her throat. "Anyway, you did the best job. I know I chose the right person to play Rockman. Gonta, you should try to get as into the role as Futaba-kun gets!"

"But I'm a person…" The large boy whined.

A soft smile grew on Tsukasa's face at Luna's praise… and he tried his best to ignore the feeling like glowering anger growing in the back of his mind.

* * *

Tsukasa sat off to the side as the group was having a short break between practices. It was exactly a week before the play would be put on, and Luna was having them practice so often they had to have breaks. Tsukasa smiled to himself as he took a sip of water from the cup in his hand. Yesterday he had met a boy who hadn't been coming to school for the past three years, but even though their meeting was short, Tsukasa could tell they could be good friends.

"All right!" Luna called out, drawing the attention of the students milling about in the gym. "We're going to start where we let off."

Tsukasa nodded, and took his place on the left side of the stage.

"Are you alright?" 'Rockman' asked the sitting girl after defeating 'Cowman', a hand outstretched to help her up.

Just as Luna's fingers brushed the boy's, a quiet cracking noise from above caught Tsukasa's ears. Whipping his head up sharply, the boy's eyes widened as he saw the glass covering of the stage light above Luna's head shatter.

There wasn't enough time to push the sitting girl out of the way, so Tsukasa did the first thing he could think of. Dashing forwards a step, he covered the girl's body with his own.

"Ah!" Tsukasa cried out in pain as the glass shards pierced both his shirt and his skin.

"F-Futaba-kun!" Luna called, as the boy winced, his body still protecting hers.

"A-are you alright, Inchou…?" He whispered quietly though the pain.

The girl shook her head firmly. "Never mind me, are you okay? What happened?"

"T-the…. I saw the stage light break, and I…"

"Never mind." Luna cut Tsukasa off. "We need to take care of you! Can you sit down and it not hurt? Please try. Gonta, go get the school nurse."

"But, Inchou, she's not here, remember?"

Luna bit her lip softly. She had gotten permission to use the school gym to practice her play after almost everyone had gone home, including the nurse.

"I-It's fine…" A soft voice to her right said. The blond turned to see Tsukasa sitting over the side of the stage, his bangs covering his face. "I can… take care of it once I get home."

"No, you won't. I-" Luna stopped herself, then sat down right next to the boy.

"Your parents aren't around, are they?" She whispered softly so Gonta and the others didn't hear.

Tsukasa's head immediately whipped around to face her, brown eyes wide. His head quickly jerked to the side to indicate "no".

"How… how could you tell…?" he whispered, this time fear made his voice halt, not the pain of the glass still imbedded in his back.

"Because… I can just tell." She finished lamely, unable to tell the boy about the situation with her own parents.

"Please… please don't tell anyone…" Tsukasa continued, fear still coloring his voice.

"Of course I won't!" Luna assured, still whispering. "But I won't let this go untreated."

"Gonta," Luna stated louder this time, standing up. "Go… wait." She turned back to the boy. "Do you think you could make it back to the nurse's room?"

Tsukasa nodded, even though he was confused how that would help if the nurse was gone.

"Okay, let's go. I'll take care of you."

"A-are you sure, Inchou…?"

"Yes! I do have some knowledge about first aid, I take care of you for now. But you MUST see a professional about this as soon as you can."

A smile twitched into existence on Tsukasa's face. "Okay. Thank you, Inchou."

"It's no problem! As Class President, it is my job to help out my classmates as much as I can."

The smile on Tsukasa's face faded, and a hint of sadness showed in his eyes. "Aa… your job…"

* * *

Tsukasa made it to the nurse's office with help from Luna, and was now seated on the small table.

"A-anou…" the Class President stuttered. Tsukasa looked at her curiously.

"Um," She now blushed furiously, and finished quietly, "You're going to have to take off you shirt for me to bandage you."

"O-oh." Tsukasa now blushed also, but complied by pulling his shirt over his head.

Still blushing, Luna reached forwards and slowly drew out one of the larger pieces of glass. Tsukasa winced, and his body jerked slightly.

"Sit still! You'd get hurt more if you move." Luna admonished the boy.

Tsukasa complied, and sat in silence as the girl gently removed the glass. She grabbed a small towel and cleaned off the blood that now spilled from the wounds, then took a length of bandage and wrapped it around his chest and upper abdomen.

"Please do get it taken care of for real, it might get infected if you don't take care of it." She stated softly as Tsukasa stood up and picked up his shirt.

"I'll make sure it stays fine," Tsukasa assured her, careful not to say he'd actually have someone look at it in case Hikaru or Gemini stopped him from doing so. "Thank you very much, Inchou." He said and bowed slightly.

"You're welcome, Futaba-kun. I'll see you on Monday, okay?"

The boy nodded, then left to grab his books and head home.

* * *

Tsukasa walked slowly towards the apartment building he lived in, his head bowed in thought. There was something nagging at him. Right before the light exploded… he had felt a tug at his mind from his Wave Scanner. He had felt that tug before, always when Gemini was about to do something. Did… did Gemini…?

'I asked him to, yes.'

Tsukasa started. "Hikaru…?"

'What is it?' He answered, slightly annoyed.

"You… asked Gemini to…?"

'To explode the light, of course.'

Tsukasa stopped walking entirely, his eyes widening slightly. "You… you were going to_ kill _her?!"

'Don't be melodramatic.' Hikaru scoffed. 'That wouldn't have killed her, it didn't even hurt you too badly.'

"Then why would you-"

'I did it to test you.'

"Huh?" Tsukasa's brow furrowed. Test him how?

For a moment, Hikaru didn't respond. 'Start walking again. I'll tell you once you do.'

Tsukasa complied, stepping inside the building.

'I had the suspicion you were becoming way too attached to that girl. That was confirmed by your actions this afternoon.'

"But I would do that for anyone…"

'Which just proves how distracted you are becoming!' Hikaru yelled. 'Tsukasa, revenge is the only thing that matters! You can't let yourself get so attached to people that you would risk yourself to save them.' Hikaru then scoffed. 'And she doesn't even love you back.'

"I know that. But I…" Tsukasa's cut himself off, as he reached down and opened his apartment door. "…She's all I have, Hikaru…"

'All you have? What about Gemini? What about **me**?'

"Gemini hates me." Tsukasa stated, sitting down on the side of his bed, remembering when the alien would get angry at Tsukasa for being so weak. "And you…" Tsukasa gulped, knowing that he would rue the next words. "…You aren't real." He finished quietly.

The reaction was instantaneous.

'NOT REAL?!' Hikaru yelled, and Tsukasa fell forwards onto the floor, clutching his head in pain as Hikaru's anger washed over him. Tsukasa was absolutely terrified. One of the things Tsukasa hated was that when Hikaru was mad, it didn't just feel like someone was mad at him. Hikaru's feelings seemed to mix with his own, and he would feel anger and terror all at the same time, blurring who he was with who Hikaru was.

"S-stop…" Tsukasa whispered, as a fresh wave of pain flowed through his senses.

'Stop what?'

"Stop hurting me… please…"

'Hurting you?' Hikaru asked in mock surprise. 'How could _I _be hurting _you_? After all, I'm not real.'

"I-I'm sorry…"

'And if _I'm _not real,' Hikaru continued, shocking Tsukasa once more with every emphasized word, 'then this _pain _you're feeling must not be real _either_.'

"I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry!" Tsukasa cried out, his head whirling with the pain. "I take it back! I'm sorry I said you weren't real!"

'Do you admit I am real?' Hikaru asked, easing up on his attack.

Tsukasa took a deep, stuttering breath, but said nothing in response.

'_Do you_?!' Hikaru repeated, sending pain through the young boy once more.

"Y-Yes…"

Hikaru drew back his assault completely, apparently satisfied, and Tsukasa rolled over and lay on his back, breathing heavily and struggled to focus his eyes.

'Tsukasa.' Hikaru spoke once more.

"Hai?" Tsukasa answered wearily.

'Drop the play.'

Tsukasa jerked up into a sitting position. "No! How could you ask something like that?"

'I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.' Hikaru corrected. 'I'm not going to have you stay so close to that girl. Tell them you're sick or something, but you're NOT going to take part in that play.'

"B-but…" Tsukasa pleaded, head whirling. "Inchou put so much effort into this, if I can't make it, then the play can't happen and… she'll be so hurt…"

Tsukasa could almost see Hikaru's grin.

'Then that's all the better, isn't it?'

"N-no…" He raised his head, eyes glimmering with determination. "I won't hurt her like that, and I won't lie to everyone!"

'Why not? You've been doing such a good job at that so far.'

Tsukasa bit his lip and looked down slightly, but didn't respond.

'Very well.'

Tsukasa raised his head slowly, hoping against hope that Hikaru meant he'd let him do the play. However, the next words made him freeze.

'If you won't lie, then we can arrange for you to be sick for real.'

"W-wha…?"

'I'm sure you can take care of that problem, right, Gemini?'

"_Of course." _The Denpa being agreed, materializing into the real world.

Tsukasa gulped, and scooted back until his back hit his bed and he was unable to back up any more. He felt Gemini gather up power, and watched as a tiny black ball sparked into existence in the air in front of Gemini, stopping once it was about the size of a period.

"What… what is that…?" Tsukasa whispered, fear forcing his voice low.

"_These," _Gemini said, smugness emanating from him, _"are Z-waves. Their main purpose is that, when around humans, it has the ability to turn them into Denpa beings."_

Tsukasa's heart skipped a beat, and he curled up closer to his bed, clutching the cover with one hand. Gemini chuckled darkly at this.

"_Of course, with this small amount, it would take a month before you would be beyond recovery. However, it will do a nice job of sapping your strength, enough so you will barely be able to stand in… oh, about a week."_

"No…" Tsukasa breathed, then turned to his "brother" for help. "Hikaru, please, don't let him do this!" He cried frantically as the ball of Z-waves entered his Wave Scanner.

He heard a soft chuckle in the depths of his mind, and all hope slipped away from him.

'Gee,' Hikaru said mockingly, 'I'd _really _love to help you, but since I'm not real, I don't think I can.'

"No…" The green-haired boy whispered once more as Gemini disappeared back into the Wave Scanner.

* * *

"Futaba-kun?"

"Eh?" The boy shook himself out of his stupor at the Inchou's voice. He had tried his best to continue despite Hikaru's disapproval and the Z-waves, but in spite of his best efforts, he was swiftly deteriorating.

"It's your line!" She spoke quietly.

"Ah… Whenever people cry for help, I will appear! I am Rockman, the… the Blue…" The boy's head whirled, and he pitched forwards.

"Cut!" Luna cried out as she ran forwards, catching the boy just before he hit the floor.

Tsukasa opened his eyes slowly, struggling to keep them up. "I-Inchou…"

"What happened, Futaba-kun? Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine… I'm just tired… I'll be fine…"

"Are you sure?"

The boy nodded slowly in response.

"Well…" Luna said slowly. "If you're sure you're fine…"

"Aa, Inchou."

"Still, you can sit this one out. You know the part well enough."

Nodding, the boy stumbled off the stage and sat down in one of the chairs sitting off to the side. He closed his eyes in pain as he heard Hikaru's laughter wash over him.

* * *

The next morning, Tsukasa woke up, immediately closing his eyes again. He felt so tired… he just wanted to sleep…

His eyes snapped open immediately. No! He couldn't sleep! The play… he had to…

He quickly swung his legs over the side of the bed, standing up and attempting to make his way over to the dresser that contained his clothes. Before he took more than two steps, however, he stumbled, and collapsed to the floor.

It was no use. He could barely even feel his legs, and they wouldn't support his weight. Even if he could stand, he felt so drained the boy wasn't sure he'd be able to stay upright without collapsing for more than a few minutes. Despair tugging at his mind, he realized things had turned out just like Hikaru planned; he would be unable to even leave the apartment in this condition, much less participate in the play.

Slowly, he dragged himself over to his bed, and managed to pull himself on top of the mattress. Dread filled him as he reached for his Transer and called the Inchou.

"Hello? Ah, Futaba-kun!" Luna called out, smiling. "I hope you're feeling better."

"I…" Tsukasa hung his head sadly. "No, I'm not, Inchou. I'm worse. I… think I might be sick…"

"Oh no, really? This… this isn't because you didn't get your back treated, is it?" Luna asked, her voice low.

"Huh?" Tsukasa blinked, then remembered what she was talking about. "No, it's fine! It's… it's something else. And… I'm really sorry Inchou, but I don't think I can participate in the play tonight…"

"W-what?" The girl asked, obviously taken aback.

"I'm very sorry… but I can barely even get out of bed…"

"No, it's fine," The Class President waved him off, but her eyes reflected her disappointment. "Just take care of yourself. Everything…" Luna faltered for a second, then regained her confidence. "Everything will be fine…"

"Inchou…"

"I… goodbye, Futaba-kun." The finished quietly, and hung up.

Tsukasa fell back against his pillow, tears welling in his eyes. He bit his lip and gulped back his tears.

However, before Hikaru could get the chance to mock him, Tsukasa had fallen back into a fitful sleep.

* * *

A while later, Tsukasa felt himself being forced awake.

'Get up,' Hikaru's voice sounded through his head. 'I want to Denpa-henkan.'

Tsukasa sighed as he reached out for the Wave Scanner lying on the small table near his bed. Ever since they got Gemini, Hikaru had decided he wanted his own body as often as possible, and Tsukasa was forced to Denpa-henkan as often as possible.

'Stand up,' Hikaru stated, sounding almost exasperated with his 'brother'.

Tsukasa winced as he dragged himself out of his bed, glaring at the Transer. He knew Hikaru could just take over and Wave Change by himself, but instead he forced Tsukasa to, and he didn't even want to do it.

"Denpa Henkan. Futaba Tsukasa, On Air." The green-haired boy whispered in what was almost a monotone, hoping to be able to go back to sleep once Hikaru was able to move about freely. The boy felt Gemini's power wash over him, as Hikaru left him… and another consciousness took up temporary residence in his mind.

Suddenly, Tsukasa felt the weariness disappear, and he straightened up in surprise. He felt normal again!

"W-what…?"

"Baka, did you think your strength just disappeared?" Hikaru scoffed, now in the form of Black Gemini. "The Z-waves take a human's power to the Denpa-world. Since we Denpa-henkaned, your strength that was waiting here joined with you again."

"Oh…" Tsukasa answered distractedly, his mind whirling as he started thinking up a scheme. This could actually work! Maybe he could go down to the school in Wave Form, revert back to normal, dodge any questions he might have, while staying human just long enough to play his part then go back!

"Gemini, make sure Tsukasa doesn't go anywhere." Hikaru asked, able to tell, or at least guess, what Tsukasa's plans were.

Tsukasa sighed despondently as he watched Hikaru leap up onto the Wave Road, leaving him behind.

So, now he had his strength back, but what good would it do him? He couldn't leave the room, Gemini would make sure of that. He had nothing to do but wait until Hikaru came back.

Walking over to the small window on the wall adjacent to his bed, Tsukasa raised the glass and stuck his head outside. A smile formed on his face despite himself, as he felt the cool breeze play with his now orange hair. He was happy to be allowed at least _that _luxury- since the window opened onto an alleyway, no one could see him, giving Hikaru and Gemini no real reason to refuse him to do so, unless they just wanted to make his life miserable. Which, Tsukasa decided, Gemini might place as a goal, but Hikaru always seemed to want Tsukasa to agree with him and his plans, so he wanted his 'brother' to be happy… within reason. If he got too comfortable, Hikaru might decide he was losing his focus and would have to change his mind.

Tsukasa sighed. Sometimes, he wondered why he even bothered trying to be friends with his brother… and probably the frustration was mutual.

Idly fingering the windowpane, the boy thought about his 'brother'. Why couldn't they just get along? He remembered when Hikaru had seemed like a savior to Tsukasa, protecting him from all who tried to harm the boy. But slowly, so slowly Tsukasa could not even see it until it was too late, Hikaru had changed into a spiteful and mean being, bent on revenge. He was still a part of Tsukasa, so he still protected the boy- or claimed to, anyway. He hadn't seemed concerned with Tsukasa's feelings for several years, and recently he even stopped caring if the boy was in physical pain either.

Raising his hand from the window's frame to trace the lightning bolt mark etched into his cheek, the boy scowled uncharacteristically. He knew when Hikaru stopped caring- as soon as Gemini came. Hikaru could see his plots of revenge turning into a reality, and became partnered with Gemini so closely his thinking became twisted to that of the Denpa Being… thinking that Tsukasa was just a tool, to be used and left alone and picked up again whenever it was needed or useful. Gemini was the only thing, person, animal, or space alien, that Tsukasa truly hated.

Tsukasa lifted his head so see the last ray's of the sun disappear. Sadness filled him once more, and he withdrew his head from the window. The play would be starting soon… he just hoped Luna had found someone to play the part of Rockman besides him. He could tell she poured her heart into making this play, like she did with everything she did. If he ruined it by not coming… he closed his eyes and slumped to the floor, back resting against the wall to the side of the window.

He hoped the play wouldn't be ruined… but he wished even more that he had been able to play Rockman.

That was impossible now.

For so long, he had been playing the part of her love in his mind, but when it counted, he wasn't there. He couldn't be there for her, not even in a pretense of a life…

And he knew that was the way it would always turn out.

* * *

Less than twenty minutes later, Hikaru came back, an amused smirk on his face. Tsukasa immediately stood up from where he had remained sitting in surprise. Hikaru never undid the transformation for at least two hours when he wanted to do something, and this had barely been half an hour.

"There's something I want to show you." Hikaru stated, still smirking.

Tsukasa walked forwards, wary but afraid to go against his 'brother'.

"Where are we going?" He asked as the two leapt up onto the wave road.

"You'll see. Now, just follow me." Hikaru dashed forwards, Tsukasa hurrying after him so as not to lose him.

* * *

"H-Hikaru, this is…"

"The play, I know." Hikaru smirked at his brother.

Tsukasa brow furrowed in concentration. What reason did Hikaru have for showing him this?

"Looks like the didn't need you after all." Hikaru said smugly. Tsukasa barely heard this as he saw that new boy, Subaru, say "I am Rockman! The Blue Bomber!"… So he was the one who Luna got to play Rockman. Tsukasa didn't mind that much, he was happy Luna's play got to be performed. What caused the boy to pause was the blush on the girl's face… and the look in her eyes. It obviously wasn't embarrassment that caused her face to redden, and she was staring at Subaru like… like he really was Rockman. The ironic thing was Tsukasa knew Subaru was Rockman in real life, Hikaru had told him after Tsukasa's first meeting with the other boy.

Before Tsukasa could ponder this further, the lights turned off abruptly. Tsukasa gave out a short squeak in surprise, lost among the various cries of surprise and confusion from below. He could feel Hikaru glaring at him, but a second later the lights had turned back on.

After a second of looking flustered, Luna regained her composure.

"Y-you came to save me, right?" The girl got out, and Tsukasa frowned slightly. That wasn't in the play before.

The boy playing Rockman on the stage smiled softly to the girl. "I'll protect you… count on it!!"

Tsukasa slumped down. There was no mistaking it… Luna loved Subaru, Tsukasa could tell. And it looked like he cared for her as well…

Despite himself, a few tears came to his eyes and spilled down his bronze cheeks. Why did this affect him so much? He always knew it could never work out with him and Luna, if nothing else, Hikaru would stop him, but…

But Tsukasa still didn't want to see _this_.

While the play continued on below, Tsukasa pulled his legs up to his chest and clasped his arms around them as the tears flowed freely.

"Get up. We're leaving now." Hikaru ordered after a few seconds, disgusted with Tsukasa. The other boy raised his head for a second, then gulped and hung it once more.

Hikaru snarled slightly. Tsukasa was annoying him greatly at the moment, and his patience was wearing thin. Unable to assault him mentally while in separate bodies, Hikaru opted for a more direct method.

Tsukasa winced as Hikaru's leg connected with his side, knocking his legs loose from his arms slightly, and the boy released them to place an arm over him side. He looked plaintively up at Hikaru.

"I _said_," Hikaru growled at the sitting boy, "we're going now. Now stand up!"

Silently, Tsukasa slowly made it to his feet.

'_You're way too weak,' _Gemini scoffed at the submissive boy through his and Hikaru's minds. _'If it wasn't for Hikaru, you wouldn't even be worth manipulating.'_

Tsukasa hung his head, and Hikaru smirked.

"Let's go, Tsukasa." Hikaru called as he walked off towards the road that would lead them to the apartment. Tsukasa turned to follow him, but turned his head to gaze over his shoulder at Luna.

In but a few seconds, when he realized Tsukasa wasn't following him, Hikaru prepared to kick him once more. Before he did so, Tsukasa turned his head back and took a step forwards.

At the look of despair on his 'brother's' face, Hikaru felt a feeling of victory wash over him, and the two of them headed home.

* * *

Luna started for a second, then quickly tried to hide it. She almost felt as though someone was watching her, and for a second, she thought she heard… crying?

She discreetly moved her head in the direction she thought the sound had come from. Nothing was there. It must have been her imagination…

* * *

Authors Notes: Oh yeah, first off, here's the key for Hikaru, Tsukasa, and Gemini talking to each other. Basically, Gemini always talks in italics, and when it's only apostrophes, the talking is inside Tsukasa (or Hikaru's also in Denpa Human form) head. And that's probably still confusing... -sweatdrop- So here:

Tsukasa, both Human and Denpa Human "..."

Hikaru normally '...'

Hikaru in Denpa Human form "..."

Gemini in Denpa form _"..."_

Gemini while in Denpa Human form _'...'_

Hope that wasn't too confusing also...

Anyway, I'm starting to love LunaXTsukasa more and more. I'm still a fervent LunaXSubaru supporter, though, don't worry, but I think Luna and Tsukasa would be really cute together, especially if this didn't work out with Subaru, like he died or ended up with Lana (the girl from the mountains in Tribe) or... can't think of anything else that would stop Luna from loving him. So, hope you enjoyed! (Oh yes, and many thanks to Niilan-kun for helping with the summary. -sweatdrop-)


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